1. Why did you choose to become a gossip columnist?
Michael K: I sort of just fell into it. One day I just started my own blog because I was bored to pieces. People started reading it and then 4 years later, here I am. It kind of chose me, but it’s a perfect marriage.
2. What is your ethnicity?
Michael K: Mexican, Chinese, English and Danish.
3. Do you have a favorite gossip columnist?
Michael K: Not really, but I read a lot, a lot of blogs and have many favorites. I love Best Week Ever, Oh No They Didn’t, Buzzfeed, Defamer and Crunk + Disorderly. I’m also really into the British tabloids, because they aren’t afraid to jump into the gutter and get dirty.
4. Why do people care about celebrities??
Michael K: I kind of see it like high school. Celebrities are the popular kids and we’re all the nerds. And it’s so much fun to make fun of how full of themselves the popular kids were. Gossiping about celebrities is just junk food really. It’s something mindless to do that will guarantee a dozen of laughs.
5. A nuclear bomb wipes the planet clean of everyone else but you and one celebrity. Which celeb would you choose to be stuck with?
Michael K: Cynthia Nixon’s girlfriend who I affectionally call “Rojo Caliente.” Rojo is a real hard ass lesbian, so she can build me a Home Depot using two sticks. And then at night, she will cuddle with me. She’s rough but has her soft side.
6. What does it take to earn the title “dumb bitch of the day”?
Michael K: Not much. Just do something idiotic and voila! You’ve been crowned.
7. You jump through a portal which makes you see through the eyes of and control the actions of Spencer Pratt, what are you going to do with this new found power?
Michael K: Declare that I’ve found the light and join a far away monastery on top of a hill surrounded by goats.
Q: What’s your favorite city in the world?
Michael K: New York City.
Q: Favorite restaurant in that city?
Michael K: Popeye’s on 14th street. I’m not even lying.
Q: Favorite bar in that city?
Michael K: Meet the Johnson’s because it smells and the beer is cheap. That’s a charming combination.
Q: Cat or Dog? Why?
Michael K: DOG! Hands down! Because cats think they are too good. Dogs kind of don’t give an eff. As long as you love them and given them bacon, they’ll let you dress them up and use them to get hot dudes.